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My awakening to becoming a voyeur.

It has a double bed and its own bathroom." They thanked her and headed upstairs.

Brandon's old room was everything Nate would expect it to be. Lots of trophies and baseball memorabilia. The color scheme was dark and masculine, but not overpowering. Nate could imagine Brandon in here as a teenager, studying or listening to music on the old stereo that still stood in the corner.

"Very nice. I can just see you in here, doing homework. I-" He broke off and tears ran down his cheeks. "Oh, God, Bran, I almost lost you tonight."

Brandon closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around Nate, pulling him to his chest. "Shh, baby. You heard what Howard said. Wilson meant to put that knife in my shoulder. If he's wanted me dead, he wouldn't have brought a knife to a gun fight. I was never in any real danger."

"People make mistakes, Bran. If he'd gone just a few inches to the left-"

Brandon lifted Nate's chin. "But he didn't, Nate. I'm here, and here is where I'm going to stay." He dipped his head and covered Nate's mouth with his own.

Nate's whole body tightened as Bran's tongue did circles against his lips. Nate opened and allowed him inside. He wrapped his good arm around Brandon's neck and was startled to feel Brandon shaking uncontrollably.

"Angel, what's wrong?"

"I was so scared, Nate."

Nate caressed his cheek with one fingertip. "What happened to all that stuff about never being in any real danger?"

Brandon gathered him close again and whispered against his ear. "I meant it. I wasn't scared for myself. I only did what I've been trained to do. I was scared for you, Nate, scared I couldn't protect you. I almost lost you once. I can't live without you, baby."

"You won't have to, Bran."

"Rationally, I know that, but I can't seem to make myself believe it."

"What can I do to get you past this?"

"Make love to me. Make me forget everything but the way you smell, the way your skin feels against mine. I only want to see you, to breath you." He paused and looked directly into Nate's eyes. "I want you inside me, Nate."

"Brandon, I don't think I can-"

"Please, Nate. I'll talk you through it, but I need to be joined to you. I need a part of you to become a part of me."

Knowing the battle was already lost, Nate made one last excuse. "We can't. We don't have any lubricant."

Brandon walked to the bed and opened the suitcase he'd packed for the two of them. He held up the tube of KY Jelly with a smile. "I was a Boy Scout."

"Now why doesn't that surprise me?"

Brandon took him in his arms again. "Please, Nate. I need you."

Nate was too smart not to know when he'd lost. He threw the tube on the bed and took Brandon's hand. He pushed the suitcase to the floor and took off his shirt. Brandon started to follow suit, but Nate stopped him. "Let me do this." Brandon nodded and Nate began the slow process of undressing him using only one hand. When Brandon was naked, Nate took off his socks, shoes and jeans, leaving only his boxers. He gave Brandon a sheepish smile. "You'll have to tell me what to do."

"Don't worry, baby. I will."

Nate nodded. He pulled his boxers off and said, "I think this will work better with you on your hands and knees, pushed back to the edge of the bed. I don't have much leverage with my cast on."

Brandon raised an eyebrow. "So much for foreplay, huh?"

"Damn. I'm sorry, Bran. I don't know what I'm doing here."

Brandon smiled and pulled him close. "I was just teasing you, Nate. You know how I love to get you all flustered. We'll do this any way you want to." He reached between them and stroked Nate's erection. "All I know is that I want to feel you."

Nate almost choked. Brandon's touch was quickly diminishing whatever fear he felt. When he couldn't take the teasing caresses anymore, he kissed Bran hard on the mouth and said, "On your knees, Nash."

Brandon grinned and complied, backing up until his body was in perfect alignment with Nate's.

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