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A lady in a tower awaits rescue.

I crawled into Brian's bed and quickly fell asleep, replaying my better golf shots in my dreams.

The next morning I had dressed for work and was reading the paper and eating cereal when Brandy walked into the kitchen.

"Don't think I am done with you, Stan!" she warned. "I don't know how, or if, you will ever be able to make yesterday up to me. I think you need to give it some thought. I'll be working a little late tonight, so you can start your penance by fixing your own dinner."

"No problem, Sweetheart. I can take care of myself," I answered. "Have a good time."

"I am going to work. What do you mean have a good time?" demanded Brandy.

"Have a great day, be happy, don't worry about me, don't take any wooden nickels.... whatever. It was just an expression."

She gave me that look like I had two heads, then she turned and left for work. I picked up the phone and dialed my work. I told them I didn't feel well and wouldn't be in.

I spent the morning shopping. I finally saw what I wanted at Best Buy and ordered the biggest fucking flat panel TV on the planet. I had it delivered that afternoon and it was all set up and working perfectly by the evening news. It worked so well; I kept trying to look down the lady anchor's blouse! I felt like she was in the room with me. It did take up the entire wall in the living room. It even made the closet door inaccessible, but it was well worth it.

I called a few guys from work and invited them over to watch the first game of the World Series. Then I ordered a few pizzas and some ribs from a place down the road.

It was the top of the third inning when Brandy walked into the room. To say she looked surprised would be a tremendous understatement. She was actually speechless!

Harry, a guy in our accounting office saw her and jumped up and grabbed her hand and started pumping it.

"Congratulations on your promotion! This TV is really cool! Old Stan is a lucky guy to have a wife like you!" he raved.

"Thanks, thanks a lot," wavered Brandy. "I'm pretty tired so I'll leave you boys to your game and go to bed."

That was it? She really took it quite well! I wondered how angry she would be in the morning.

I was dressed for work and reading the morning paper when Brandy entered the kitchen.

"You will have that goddamn monstrosity out of here and returned to the store before I get home from work tonight! Do you understand me, Stan?" Brandy yelled.

"I think so, Honey. No need to raise your voice," I chuckled. "I'm not deaf."

The door slammed so hard I thought the glass in the windows would break. She was hard to understand at times.

I was watching "Cheers" when Brandy walked into the living room that evening.

"I thought I told you to return that thing today," she began. "You said you understood and that I didn't have to raise my voice. Now I get home and the fucking thing is still here!" she screamed. "What part didn't you understand, idiot?"

"I never understood why they had Norm on this show," I responded. "He isn't very funny."

Foam and spit flew from Brandy's mouth as she tried to frame an intelligible sentence. Her face was crimson.

"Stan, listen to me. I wanted you to take back the TV and you didn't do it. Explain that to me, please," she managed after a minute or so of deep breathing.

"I didn't buy the thing just to take it back, Darling," I smiled. "I like it and I will keep it. I understood the words that came out of your mouth this morning. The problem you are having right now is that I didn't follow your decree, not that I didn't understand your meaning."

It had never occurred to Brandy that I would refuse a direct order. This was new territory and she was taken off guard, totally.

"What is wrong with you lately, Stan? You skip an important occasion, give me a bullshit excuse, and then order a huge, and I am sure, very expensive TV, without discussing it with me. Are you feeling okay?" she asked somewhat calmly.

"I feel great, Sweetheart.

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