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We fulfill a fantasy in Amsterdam.

Hey, don't get mad at me, I'm just trying to help you. Put the frying pan down. You could kill someone with that thing.

Do you want to feel more desirable and be more attractive to the opposite sex? If you are a guy, are you hoping to get lucky? Gees, sorry, I didn't know you were a virgin. You'll have to read my story on how to get laid, but I haven't written that one, yet.

If you are a woman are you hoping to find the right guy and get married and have kids? See? Why is it that women are way better than men? Men just want to get laid and have sex with as many women as we can, whereas women want to settle down with one special guy, have a family, and get started with the more important things in life, such as buying a house, going shopping and accumulating credit card debt, and nagging her husband so much that he wishes he was dead (kidding).

Are you unhealthy, morbidly obese and/or have high blood pressure and/or diabetes? Yes, I truly understand that unless you change your behavior and modify what you eat and how much you eat of it, you will die. That's not good. Hey, I need all the fans that are going to give me a vote of 5 as I can get. I don't want my audience dying. I have a vested interest in not only helping you to lose the weight but also in enabling you to live longer so that you can give me more 5 votes. It's a win/win scenario for both of us.

Well, unless you must lose weight for medical reasons, I wouldn't make yourself miserable about not being thinner. Being thin isn't everything that it's cracked up to be. Think about and consider all the other good things about yourself. You have a lot of good qualities. I love your eyes by the way. Hey, I like you. You gave me a 5 vote for this story. How could I not like you no matter how much you weigh?

Besides if someone can't see beyond the body image, then a romantic relationship will never work. You're smart, sensitive, kind, and a good dancer, too; wouldn't you want those same qualities in your lover? Why settle for someone who is so shallow that he or she just wants the wrapper without delving into and exploring the dough (no pun intended)? I've seen way many more skinny bitches than I have fat witches. Oh, I see you are just as shallow as are your thin counterparts and you want someone as good looking as you think you are not. Now, I understand. Houston, we have a problem.

Seriously, though, I've known some people who were overweight all their lives and many of them were healthier than me. Not everyone is genetically blessed or cursed and going to be as skinny as Paris Hilton (and who wants to be that unhealthy thin), just as not everyone can safely carry excess weight around. Hey, if you ask me, Paris is so skinny that it makes her nose look bigger, but that's just my opinion. I really don't even like the dumb broad. Moreover, I've known many overweight women who are way better looking than Paris Hilton, not that she's any measure of beauty.

I've worked out with weights and aerobic conditioning all my life. Yet, I'm a 26.5 on the BMI, body mass index and by all the life insurance charts, I'm 50 pounds overweight. Are you kidding me? If I lost 50 pounds my friends would think I was dying of cancer.

I'm perfectly healthy at my weight, according to my most recent blood work. I do feel a bit tired though (cough), maybe I'm coming down with something. Nurse! I need a nurse to check my hard-on, I mean heart. I know bodybuilders who are a 30 on the BMI scale and they are unbelievably healthy. Muscle weighs more than fat. So throw your scale away. Bodyweight is not always a sure sign of how healthy you are.

Listen, if you are serious about losing weight, in principal it's easy to do but in reality, losing weight is just as difficult as trying to stop smokin

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