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Trudy turns to father-in-law for a wild time.

hey part'! He scanned the penguin and saw that she had somehow convinced him that this was a good idea! How on shaltfnts can it be a good idea for a male to restrict his sacred fertilization duties to just one female- especially in a species as infertile as this one? I mean, come on! A mere two genders, just two feeding glands, three-fourths of a full solar year gestation period, typical litter of only one or two with occasional bursts of up to a barely tolerable level of five or six, and a breeding period of only about thirty years?

Something had to be done! Yes, yes, the Prime Directive and all that, but really- that was just a suggestion, like taking a side trip to see the great human achievements of Chernobyl, Boston's 'Big Dig', and the Mobro 4000 trash barge. But what to do? He considered correcting her flawed attitude, but when he scanned the other female units, he was astonished to discover they all felt the same way!

Great Llpknsd's ghost! Now what? The woman was approaching the end of the aisle and dude in some sort of dress was waiting for them. Penguin guy- apparently he was called the 'gloom'- and Psat'Doo could see why- was starting to move towards the rendezvous point. Think, damn it, think! Psat'Doo hit his literal head with a figurative thinking stick. Aha! He had it!

Freezing time for a moment... which, when he thought of it, was a pretty stupid thing to think. I mean, if you freeze time, terms like 'moment' have no meaning, do they? This sounded like a great area for a research paper and Psat'Doo started to compose the premise in his steel-trap mind. On another level, he set to work.

Now... this guy over here. He was older and his reproductive period was at an end, his previous mate had stopped functioning, and he had some sort of attachment to the white clad woman. Psat'Doo led him from his seat to the place the gloom was aiming for. He guided the gloom to a back room where he could leave him in stasis for a few ticks of whatever the locals use for time and no one would notice him. Just to be sure, he put a flowered tablecloth over his head. So adorable!

Let's see, let's see... who was paying enough attention to notice the changes? Here... here... oh, yes, certainly over here... and don't forget the officiant- who looked absolutely darling in his fancy gown... Here a tweak, there a tweak, everywhere a tweak tweak... Done! He took a moment to pat himself on his back, and another moment to work his arm back into the proper shape.

He used his Device to rewind time a bit to cover any small glitches and went to retrieve the gloom. Scanning his mind revealed a hodge-podge of conflicting images and desires. Here was his biological drive to spread his progeny far and wide, but over here was a bunch of red tape that seemed to be blocking his natural and Lkpok-given right to knock up as many broads as he could get his mitts on.

Sorting through the debris of the hooman's mind, he found exactly the right inspiration, and suddenly the hapless gloom found himself on a large tropical island, complete with a cluster of primitive huts outfitted with the bare basics like satellite big-screen TV, cold beer on tap, and hot tubs. Next, he built on a recurrent theme he found in many human brains- a story about paradise with some guy named Adam and a chick named Eve. Psat'Doo figured there was some sort of typo in the story- paradise with only one woman? Ridiculous! Some versions of the story seem to include a woman named Mary Ann and something called a Ginger- possibly a sort of spice or coloration. The gloom fit in that role nicely by looking quite professorial.

Now he needed additional players to make this work. He cast his glorious mind around the world looking for just the right... Ah! Here we go!

The by now very confused gloom was on a beautiful island, drinking an ice-cold craft beer, trying to figure out what was going on and why he was wearing a giant leaf for underwear.

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