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Man is forced to play 'So You Think You Know Your Mate'.
Besides the obvious, and chillingly awkward, candidates from the first round such as his or his wife's mother or his sister, he imagines others. There are always the captives he knows, but there are also strangers with whom he can imagine being mortified to engage in such intimate behavior. These include nuns, the young, the geriatric, or those who are not mentally competent to deal with the stresses of such a situation. Ted dismisses concerns about the pediatric or geriatric because he has never heard of the machines using such candidates. He guesses that the Meks' reluctance to do so has to do with their aesthetic inclinations or the fact that such candidates might be too easily discounted by the contestant. On the other hand, the Meks love to use taboo candidates whenever such candidates cannot easily be distinguished from the mating unit. Ted is not sure that the machines understand why certain candidates are taboo, and he is certain that it is not the titillation of what is taboo that drives the Meks to use such candidates. Rather, the thrill for the Meks is derived from knowing they have more greatly embarrassed and debased the human contestant, and thus affirmed their superiority.
Ted pauses, takes a deep breath, and leans into the first set of sex organs. He decides he must be as thorough as he can be, embarrassing or not. He, therefore, runs his tongue the length of the woman's slit. He tastes, feels, and makes mental notations. He spends most of his time on the clit and labia trying to visualize them from the tactile sensation. The woman is not aroused in the slightest, and, in fact, she seems to be squirming against his violating tongue to the limited extent her restraints allow. Ted takes the latter as supporting evidence that this is not his wife. He confidently eliminates candidate 1 based upon the fact that she has a much bigger clit that his wife as well as a much bushier pubic patch.
Candidate 2 is also summarily dismissed. She is extremely wet and seems to push against Ted's tongue to the degree she is able. Unlike candidate 1, Ted has the benefit of flavors other than purely sweaty musky skin. He can taste candidate 2's drenched sex, and it does not taste like his wife. Furthermore, his wife is not the kind to get extremely aroused from being subjected to humiliation and embarrassing spectacle. Candidate 3 is even less likely. Ted imagines her as an older woman who has given birth to a dozen babies, and perhaps hypercephalic ones at that. Candidate 4 is a small woman. While his wife is fairly petite, this girl is tiny judging from the short distance between the top of her slit and the rough puckered sphincter that he inadvertently tongues because he does not expect such a compact space.
Ted's anxiety rises. He has just two candidates left. If neither is more promising than the previous four, he will be at a loss to make his selection. He tries to reassure himself that he has just narrowed it down. Number 5 seems to be an obvious reject. His tongue travels over rough tissue that he imagines to be scars. It is someone who has had surgery. Again he presses out the nervous thought that he might have missed his wife. He visualizes her genitals, and reconsiders whether any of the women he rejected could have been her. Could he have misinterpreted some clue and gotten it wrongly stuck in his mind? He gets to the final candidate, and takes a sigh of relief. It is her, he is certain of it. The taste, the smell, the feeling are all familiar to him. She does not fight the probing tongue like candidate 1 or seek to satisfy herself upon it like candidate 2. Rather this woman seems at ease with him. The alarm sounds signaling the end of his five seconds. He disengages, but does not stand back. Instead, he nods his head in the direction of the woman to indicate that he has made his choice.
PARLEK: "Well, Jay, it looks like Ted has made his choice, and, when we come back from station identification